Dr Margot Sunderland is Director of Education and Training at The Centre for Child Mental Health London, Senior Associate of the Royal College of Medicine and Child Psychotherapist with over thirty years' experience of working with children and families. Dr Sunderland is the author of over twenty books in child mental health, which collectively have been translated into eighteen languages and published in twenty-four countries. Her books, which form the Helping Children with Feelings series, are used as key therapeutic tools by child professionals all over the UK and abroad.

Nicky Armstrong holds an MA from the Slade School of Fine Art and a BA Hons in Theatre Design from the University of Central England. She is the principal artist at The London Art House and has illustrated over twenty books, which have been published in many countries. Nicky has also achieved major commissions nationally and internationally in mural work and fine art.

INTRODUCTION

¿ How to use this book

¿ Why use drawings and images to speak about feelings?

¿ How to work safely

¿ Key rules and guidelines in helping someone to speak about feelings

¿ About sandplay and how to use it

YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

¿ You, your relationships, your life
¿ Encouragers and discouragers in my life (past and present)
¿ People in your life, as gardens
¿ The cocktail party
¿ Your relationships as walls, bridges, comfortable sofas & take off
¿ Museum of too alone
¿ My childhood memories: People as places
¿ Relationship riches

DEAD, DEPRIVING, DRAINING, DISAPPOINTING RELATIONSHIPS
¿ My Relationship: Take off or stuck on the runway?
¿ To leave or to stay?
¿ The 'nothing much happening' times
¿ A relationship that's holding me back
¿ People who energise. People who drain
¿ Too many takers and not enough givers
¿ Am I expecting too much from her/him?
¿ Disappointing relationship or futile quest for perfect mate?

LIFE-CHANGING RELATIONSHIPS
¿ People you've been flying with
¿ Flying together as a group
¿ Collecting moments, not things
¿ Oh, how we laugh!
¿ Knights (posing as people)

LOVE HURTS
¿ Museum of hurt
¿ When I can't reach you
¿ Life after losing a person or their love
¿ The end of a relationship. What now?
¿ Loving someone who isn't good at loving
¿ Do I matter to you?
¿ No one listens / too unhelped
¿ Rejected / not wanted / uninvited / redundant
¿ On the outside of the group

DAMAGING AND DESTRUCTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
¿ Power over / power under / power with
¿ Toxic shame
¿ Managing conflict badly
¿ Controlled
¿ Emotional baggage
¿ Hidden resentments
¿ So many difficult/annoying people in my life
¿ Anger fuelled by pain from the past

RELATIONSHIPS AND FEAR
¿ Fear of intimacy
¿ Withdrawal, avoidance and leaving
¿ Fear of closeness and fear of distance
¿ Fear of being in groups
¿ Fear of being myself in case I am too much
¿ Without a voice
¿ Mistrust

TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES TO IMPROVE AND REPAIR RELATIONSHIPS

¿ The art of relationship (for one person)

¿ The 'when you...I feel' exercise (for two people)

¿ The 'unfinished sentence' exercise (for two people)

¿ The 'like / don't like it' game (for two people)

¿ The empathy game (for two people)

¿ Our best and worst times (for two people)

¿ Theories of motivation (for two people)

¿ Paper conversations