Henk T. Van der Molen is professor of psychology at the Institute of Psychology at Erasmus University Rotterdam, The Netherlands and at the Open University of The Netherlands. He is (co-)author of more than 20 books and 100 articles and chapters, many which concern professional communication skills training. He was President of the Dutch Psychological Society from 1995-2003.

Yvonne. H. Gramsbergen-Hoogland studied personality psychology at the University of Groningen. Thereafter she joined the faculty of Economics at the Hanzehogeschool of Groningen, where she was a trainer in interpersonal skills, developing several widely used programmes. She is involved as freelance trainer in human resources management and (co-)author of four books.

Contents

List of tables and figures

ix

Preface

x

Acknowledgements

xii

Introduction

1

PART I
Basic communication skills

5

1

Regulating skills

9

Introduction 9

Opening the conversation, setting goals 9

Goal evaluation 10

Closing the conversation 10

2

Listening skills

12

Introduction 12

Non-selective listening skills, minimal encouragers 13

Selective listening skills 14

3

Sender skills

21

Introduction 21

Sender skills - initiative 21

Sender skills - reactive 29

PART II
Dialogues

33

4

Interviewing

35

Practical example 35

Introduction 35

Preparation of the semi-structured interview 37

Holding semi-structured interviews 38

5

The selection interview

41

Practical example 41

Introduction 42

Goals 42

Method 43

Basic Attitude 44

Skills in the different phases of the interview 44

6

The job application interview

50

Practical example 50

Introduction 50

Preparation 51

Skills in the job application interview 52

7

The performance evaluation interview

60

Practical example 60

Introduction 61

The performance evaluation interview within the framework of personnel management 61

Goal and conditions 63

Preparation 63

Roles 64

Errors of judgement 64

8

The career interview

xx

Practical example

Introduction

Aims of the career interview

Distinction between career interview, performance evaluation interview and appraisal interview

Preparation for the career interview

Personal development plan

The career interview model

9

The personal problems interview

72

Practical example 72

Introduction 72

Diagnosis-prescription model versus cooperation model 73

A dialogue model with communication skills 77

10

Handling complaints

85

Practical example 85

Introduction 85

Listening to the complaint 86

Showing understanding 86

Investigating the practical aspects of a complaint 87

Finding a solution 87

Coming to an agreement 88

11

Breaking bad news

91

Practical example 91

Introduction 92

Two situations 92

Phase 1: Delivering bad news immediately 93

Phase 2: How to deal with reactions 94

Phase 3: Looking for solutions 98

12

The sales or acquisition interview

100

Practical example 100

Introduction 101

Preparation 101

Structure 102

Communication skills 105

PART III
Group conversations

109

13

Decision making

111

Practical example 111

Introduction 111

Phases in the decision-making process 112

Pitfalls 116

Three techniques to develop strategies 118

14

Leading meetings

121

Practical example 121

Introduction 121

Goal 122

Roles 122

Task-oriented and people-oriented behaviour 123

Tasks 124

Structure 126

15

Conflict management

132

Practical example 132

Introduction 132

Characteristics of conflict situations 133

Conflict management behaviour 134

Behaviour that evokes conflict 137

Conflict management conversations 139

Mediation: Conflict management with the help of a mediator 139

A model for conflict management 140

16

Negotiating

144

Practical example 144

Introduction 144

Negotiator's behaviour 144

Negotiation space 145

Negotiation situations 147

Negotiating skills 148

Model for a negotiation conversation 150

17

Giving presentations

154

Practical example 154

Introduction 154

Preparation 155

Giving the presentation 158

Dealing with reactions 161

Appendix A: Exercises

164

Appendix B: Role play

186

References

192

Author index

195

Subject index

196