Laura Doyle is the author of the controversial bestsellers The Surrendered Wife and The Surrendered Single. A popular speaker on relationship issues, she teaches workshops based on her books. She lives in Costa Mesa, California, with her husband.

Contents

Introduction

Women Reject the Very Things They Say They Want the Most

I Thought I Was Superwoman

What to Do When the Easy Times Hit

You'll Feel As If You're Getting Away with Something

Chapter 1: How I Discovered My Receiving Muscles,
and How You Can, Too

I Was Standing in My Own Way

I Had the Kookiest Problem

I Had to Override the Alarm System in My Head

How I Know It's Better to Receive Than to Give

Anyone Can Learn to Receive

Reflect on What You Reject

Chapter 2: Begin to Receive

Miss Manners Would Not Approve, Gentle Reader

Things Were Better Than I Could Stand

Get Glad, Not Even

Feel Uncomfortable and Say "Thank You" Anyway

Chapter 3: Speak Tenderly to Yourself

Good Receivers Don't Put Themselves Down

You're the Enemy Inside the Tent

Sometimes Self-Criticism Is So Familiar You Don't Even Notice It Anymore

A Criticism Is Never the Truth

If You Can't Say Something Nice to Yourself, Find Someone Else Who Will

Chapter 4: Pretend You're Comfortable

If You Act As If You Don't Deserve Something, Everyone Else Will Agree

There Was Not Enough in the World for Me

How to Feel Deserving

Receiving Requires Faith

Chapter 5: Get Out of Control

Receiving Means Feeling Exposed

To Have Intimacy You Must Give Up Control

Drop the Gun and Put Your Hands in the Air

Receiving Is Trickier Than It Sounds

Stay in Your Own Skin

I Know Only What I Want, So I Trust Others to Say What They Want

Chapter 6: Receiving Compliments

What Every Great Receiver Knows

Receiving Compliments Well Makes You More Attractive

Feeling Like a Fake Is Better Than Looking Like a Jerk

Chapter 7: Take All the Help You Can Get

Let Others Lighten Your Load

No Woman Is an Island

You Have to Be Vulnerable to Get Emotional Help

Rejecting Help Is Rejecting an Emotional Connection

Get Advice from People Who Have What You Want

Take My Advice -- I Won't Be Needing It

Chapter 8: Be Still and Know That You Are Not God

The Cure for the Chronically Busy

Should You Get Involved?

The Danger of Doing Everything Yourself

You're Not the Fire Department

Give Up the Rush

Sometimes Less Really Is More

Busy Isn't Better

Chapter 9: Fill Your Own Cup First

Receiving Requires a Full Cup

No One Can Fix Me but Me

How to Lose Friends and Irritate People

Self-Care Is a Discipline

Forming a Happy Habit
ard

Chapter 10: Own Your Gifts

Modesty Is Dishonesty

It's Hard to Be Humble

Chapter 11: Identify Your Authentic Desires

Only Dead People Don't Want Anything

Will My Real Desire Please Stand Up?

Don't Be Afraid of Impossible Desires

Desires Are Not Dangerous

When Your Brain and Your Heart Argue, Your Heart Always Wins

Desires Are Road Maps to Destiny

Figure Out What You Want

Chapter 12 Say What You Want

Invite Support by Speaking Your Desires

Be Straight and You Won't Manipulate

Saying What You Want Makes You More Beautiful

Secret Desires Can Drive Your Loved Ones Crazy

Your Desires Are Not Set in Concrete

Say What You Want to Someone Safe

Chapter 13: Admit That You Goofed and Apologize for Your Part

Good Receivers Are Accountable

Admitting You Were Wrong Is Not as Bad as You Think

Your Critics Will Be Speechless

There's Nothing Left to Fight About

No Ifs or Buts About It

Admitting You're Wrong Is Attractive

Get Forgiveness from Yourself

Apologies Are Free, So Spread Them Around

It Takes Two to Tango

Chapter 14 Give Up Guilt

"Guilt Is the Gift That Keeps on Giving"

You're the Deejay of Your Own Head

If One Apology Is Good, More Is Better, Right?

Your Words Count the First Time

Contrition Leads to Change

Chapter 15: Accept Apologies

The High Price of Making Nice

Rehearse Your Acceptance Speech

First Receive, Then Accept or Reject an Apology

Not All Apologies Are Acceptable

If You Haven't Been Wronged, It's Right to Reject an Apology

Receiving Apologies Increases Your Confidence

Chapter 16: Never Complain

Make Yourself a Magnet

Gratitude Gets You Further

Gratitude Is a Glass That's Half Full

The Opposite of Gratitude Is Entitlement

Gratitude Shows That You're Pleasable

Grateful Women Have Better Romantic Relationships

Chapter 17: Marvel at Small Things

Wake Up to Your Good Fortune

Saying Thanks Won't Make Someone Stop Giving

Be Grateful for the Things You Hate

When Life Throws You a Hardball, Be Glad You're in the Game

Chapter 18: Reject What Doesn't Fit for You

Know When to Say No

Use the Distress Test

Reject Things That Get on Your Very Last Nerve

Good Things Come to Those Who Say, "No, Thanks."

Listen to Your Spidey Sense

Chapter 19: Foster Romance with Receiving

Let Him Please You

What Makes a Man Feel Successful

Rejecting His Offers Is Emasculating

Consider Keeping Presents You Hate

You Won't Owe Him Anything in Return

Sex Is a Gift

Rejecting Sex Is Rejecting the Relationship

Chapter 20: Let a Man Support You

Don't Try This at Home

Let a Good Guy Support You

Behind Every Great Man Is a Very Surprised Mother-in-Law

You're His Inspiration

What Inspires a Man

Use Your Power Wisely

The Mother of All Receiving Challenges

Chapter 21: Receive Money for Work You Love

Misery Made Me Feel Virtuous

It Pays to Play

Clinging to the Wrong Job Will Keep You From Getting the Right One

How Receiving Can Help You Make a Career Change

Tell Everyone About Your Talents

If You Love What You Do, You'll Never Work a Day in Your Life

Chapter 22: Speak For Yourself

Not Everyone Will Applaud You

Receiving Is Better Than the Alternative