Acknowledgments. 3
Introduction Sarah Naish. 3
1 WHY DO OUR CHILDREN DO THE THINGS THEY DO?!4
1 The Unskilled Pilot - (A lack of trust)5
2 The Spider Parent- (Fear of adults)7
3 My Friend the Spider- (Staying safe)10
4 The Automatic Car- (Illogical behaviours)12
5 The Plane Crash (part 1) - (Impulsiveness)15
6 The Deal Breaker -(Breaking promises)18
7 The Land of Now- (Unable to link cause and effect)20
8 The Crumbling Wall - (Hidden disabilities)23
2 RAISING PENGUINS. 26
9 Penguins Don't Fly- (Our children are different)27
10 The Messy Nest (Destruction)30
11 The Girl Who Wouldn't Try - (Self sabotage)32
12 Squeezing the Glass- (Over controlling)35
13 The King of the Castle (Traditional consequences don't work)37
14 Lie Tennis- (Lying)40
15 The Apprentice Who Wasn't Sorry- (Fake apologies)43
16 The Lift - (Unintended consequences)46
3 IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS - The Unhelpful Others. 50
17 The Goldfish -(Risk averse practice)51
18 The Measuring Stick - (Judgement from others)54
19 The Cart - (Our burden)57
20 The Ostrich Teacher- (Unhelpful schools)60
21 The Snowflake Parent- (Unhelpful others)62
4 PARENTING IN THE TRAUMA TORNADO.. 64
22 The Eye of the Storm- (Managing chaos)65
23 The Elephant- (Staying kind)67
24 The Steam Train- (Keeping on track)69
25 The Rude Wind- (Responding to rudeness)71
26 The Conductor - (Controlling behaviour)74
27 The Missiles- (Responding to arguing)77
28 The Cliff Top- (Keeping boundaries)79
29 The Inquiry Lie- (Honesty)82
5 SAFER PARENTING- Therapeutic Responding. 84
30 The Needle on the Record- (Changing our responses)85
31 The Plane Crash Part 2- (Unable to calm)87
32 ACE Detective- (Working out what is behind the behaviour)91
33 The Frightened Dog- (Connecting in a crisis)94
34 Sharing the PIE- (Sibling rivalry)96
35 The Shame Pit- (Overwhelming shame)100
36 The Escalator - (Natural and logical consequences)103
6 WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!106
37 The Trap Door -(Triggers)107
38 Trauma Pancakes- (Multiple issues surfacing)111
39 The Jigsaw Child- (Why sabotage happens)114
40 The Smoke Detector- (Unexpected behaviours)117
41 The Monster in the Cupboard - (Difficult quiet times)119
7 THE OVERWHELMING NEED.. 122
42 The Two-year-old Psychopath- (Lack of empathy)123
43 The Pet Spider- (Being controlled)126
44 Memory Beach- (Memory issues)129
45 The Hand-Grenade- (The 'trouble-maker')132
46 The Car Crash- (Feeling overwhelmed)134
8 FILLING THE CUP. 135
47 The Empty Cup- (Exhaustion)136
48 The Boring Place- (Getting a break)138
49 Eeyore Parenting- (Losing hope)140
50 The Rabbit- (Isolation)142
51 The Empathy Bowl- (Effective listening)144
9 HOPE. 146
52 The Twisty Turny Steps- (Fear for the future)147
53 The Diet Fail- (Having a bad day)149
54 Slides and Ladders- (Overcoming obstacles)151
55 The Trauma Lake- (Foundations for change)153
56 The Hidden Path- (Inspiration)154