STEVE MCCLATCHY is the founder of Alleer Keynotes and Workshops. He's also a keynote speaker, workshop leader, author, and entrepreneur with extensive experience coaching, mentoring, and training leaders at small and large organizations to help their followers achieve higher levels of professional success.

Introduction xi

Part 1 Why You Should Lead Your Relationships 1

Chapter 1 The Role of Relationships in Business 5

My Clients Have Already Answered These Questions for Me 8

This Is Why Companies Should Care About Relationships 10

First, Make Sure You Have the Capacity to Build Relationships 11

Good Relationships Are Crucial to Business Success 13

The High Cost of Low Trust 17

The Health of Our Relationships Has Real Physiological Effects 18

Good Relationships Are Vital to an Organization Accomplishing Their Work 19

Chapter 2 What Builds Great Relationships? 21

What Actions Establish, Increase, and Destroy Trust? 24

What Is It Like to Work in a Low-Trust Environment? 28

Chapter 3 What Gets in the Way of Building Great Relationships? 33

The Ego Is Your Best Survival Tool and Your Biggest Obstacle 35

Relationships Have to Meet the Needs of Both Parties 42

Games and Competition 45

Part 2 How You Should Lead Your Relationships: The Five Levels of Maturity 49

Chapter 4 Level One: Recognizing and Acknowledging People 55

Let the Games Begin! 58

What If Everything Isn't Fine Between Us? 63

You Don't Automatically Start at Level One, You Have to Reach It 65

Are You Saying 68

Chapter 5 Level Two: Exchanging Facts and Honoring Agreements 73

Exchanging Facts 75

Honoring Agreements 81

Addressing Broken Agreements Without Damaging the Relationship 84

The Broken Agreement Script: The Four-Part Response for Addressing a Broken Agreement 92

Broken Agreement Examples 98

Conditions for Addressing a Broken Agreement 99

A Dead Moose: A Problem You Can't Ignore 100

Serial Broken Agreements 105

Playground Rules Don't Apply Here 107

Chapter 6 Level Three: Navigating Differing Opinions 109

Differing Opinions on Business Strategy: Build a Business Case 114

When Business Case and Mission Clash 119

Chapter 7 Level Four: Playing to Strengths and Working Around Weaknesses 123

Admitting Mistakes and Apologizing When Necessary 126

The Negativity Bias 131

Concentrate on Strengths, Work Around Weaknesses 134

Giving Positive and Corrective Feedback 143

Common Feedback Pitfalls 145

Conditions for Delivering Corrective Feedback 152

The Corrective Feedback Script 157

Receiving Feedback Graciously 167

Chapter 8 Level Five: Understanding Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivators 173

Whys and Wants 176

Level Five Comes with High Stakes 181

When Level Five Is Nonnegotiable 182

Part 3 Use the Five Levels of Maturity as a Leadership Handbook 187

Chapter 9 Managing the Maturity Level of Others 189

What Are Your Relationship Biases? 192

Can You Coach Someone to a Higher Level of Maturity? 194

What to Do If Someone Fails 195

Knowing Which Relationships You Can Take to a Higher Level 198

Chapter 10 What Can Level Five Do for You? 201

Brand Yourself as a Level Five Leader 203

Why Do You Feel Threatened? 206

A Leader Doesn't Try to Win in a Relationship 208

The Best Criteria for Promotions 209

Succession Planning 215

Level Five Leadership Embraces Change 216

Incorporate These Concepts into All Your Relationships 219

Appendix A: The Concentric Circles of Leadership Model 221

Appendix B: The Dos and Don'ts of the Five Levels of Maturity 225

Notes 227

Acknowledgments 229

About the Author 231

Index 233