"If you've ever expressed even the slightest bit of dissatisfaction with the current state of your life, you've inevitably gotten the response, "Have you tried meditation? A 12-step skin care routine? Nature bathing? This very specific currently trending herbal supplement? Exercise? Joining a cult? Joining an exercise cult?" And a variety of other helpful suggestions. This book explores these topics with intellectual essays like "I'm Moving to the Woods to Live in a Nightmare Shack" and "Please Try Our Irresponsibly Expensive Make-up Stick." It also features some incredibly important guides like, "How to Tell if Your Underwear is Expensive Enough" and "Do You Want a Snack or Are You Just Horny?" As well as some weird stories about fictional men who may or may not have ruined the author's chances of ever having a functional relationship. But, most importantly, if you learn anything from this book, it's that a [...] ceramic mug made by a Portland artisan is not going to change your life"--