Introduction: Oh My Gosling! Worshipping at the Altar of Ryan Can Change Your Life

The Reasons of Ryan

1. The Notebook
In my life, I've spent more time re-watching this film than I have engaged in conversation with my own mother. A rite of passage for teenage girls and lonely women everywhere, by this point The Notebook has received more slumber-party screenings than Titanic. And you just know that Ryan would never, ever betray you by succumbing to the cruelties of the aging process in the way that Leonardo DiCaprio has. (If Rose saw Jack now, she'd be glad she let go.)

2. His Pecs
Adorably, Ryan describes his marble-carved pectorals as being "like pets” and claims that he feels "kind of goofy having them”. He most memorably gifted them to the world in all their spray-tanned glory during that scene in Crazy, Stupid, Love. "It's like you're Photoshopped!” Emma Stone's smoky-voiced love interest observed. She wasn't wrong.

3. He can rock double denim
Double denim. Amazing.

4. That silent, brooding, like-Steve-McQueen-but-SO-much-hotter thing he did in Drive

5. Drive generally
(Even if Carey Mulligan's character didn't exactly fall out of a box labeled "Interesting Roles for Women”.)

6. He's in a Band
He writes, sings and gets all multi-instrumentalist on our asses in Dead Man's Bones, a spooky doo-wop indie group who recorded their Halloween-obsessed debut album with a children's choir - this means he's great with kids, too. Bonus points!

7. Redefining the very essence of cuteness, he often takes his mother to the premieres of his films
(But not in the way that Kevin Spacey used to.)

8. His Ex-Girlfriends Love Him
Even when they're no longer "in” love with him (though they probably are, let's face facts). Just ask Sandra Bullock and Rachel McAdams - not a bad word to say about RyRy between them. Not even a mild gripe about how he was always leaving the toilet seat up. This is further proof of Ryan's genetically-measurable superiority to the rest of the male race.

9. He Loves Animals
Ryan has described his dog, George, as his "soulmate”. (Eva Mendes was unavailable for comment.) George Gosling gets to go places that other canines rarely do - i.e. on talk shows and in Ryan's arms when Ryan carries him - not walks him, carries him - through airports. Ryan and George's bond is one of perfect love and trust, apparently designed to melt the average woman's heart into a warm puddle of pheromones and corn syrup. I think we can all agree that we'd switch places with George in a (melted) heartbeat. That dog has it pretty damn good.

10. He Can Do the Dirty Dancing Body Lift
As he so ably demonstrated with Emma Stone in Crazy, Stupid, Love. That's the body lift. That Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey did. While "(I've Had) The Time of My Life” played. In Dirty Dancing. Even if Ryan was unable to do anything else except breathe and chew, this fact alone would still make him marriage material.