Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

PART I

Chapter 1: My Personal Journey . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

The First Whisper 3

Finding the Rainbow 5

The Life You Were Meant to Live 8

Chapter 2: Unfinished Business . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Breaking the Loop 14

What Is Unfinished Business? 15

Chapter 3: Under the Unfinished . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

Unfinished Business Is Universal 24

What Is Grief and How Is It Connected to UFB? 25

No t All Grief Is the Same, but

It All Matters the Same 25

Ho w the Unfinished Business Program

Is Different 30

Chapter 4: Understanding the Whole . . . . . . . . . 32

Soul 34

The Conscious Mind 36

The Unconscious Mind 37

Th e Three Brains Theory: How Our Body

Communicates 39

Bioenergetics 41

The Soma 42

Bringing It All Together 43

Chapter 5: Program Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

What to Expect 49

Things to Keep in Mind 51

PART II

Chapter 6: Rethink . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55

Prework: Tilling the Soil 58

Homework Follow-Up 63

Higher Self-Talk 63

Chapter 7: Lesson 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65

Why We Are the Way We Are 67

Models, Mantras, and Beliefs 68

Le sson 1 Homework: Identifying Your Models,

Mantras, and Beliefs 74

Homework Follow-Up 78

Higher Self-Talk 78

Chapter 8: Lesson 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

The AACTs of Life 82

Where Our AACTs Come From 84

Belonging and Shame 86

Le sson 2 Homework: Naming Our AACTs and

Taking Responsibility 91

Cr itical Notes Before You Do Your Homework

for This Chapter 101

Homework Follow-Up 102

Higher Self-Talk 103

Chapter 9: Lesson 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105

What Is Charge? 109

What Is Incomplete Charge? 110

How Charge Shows Up 113

Why Charge Matters 114

Charge Changers vs. Charge Choices 117

How Charge Starts Getting Blocked 119

The Hunt for Charge Changers 121

Short-Term Gains, Long-Term Losses 123

Overcharged vs. Undercharged 125

Common Charge Changers 126

Taking Total Responsibility: Revisited 132

Le sson 3 Homework: Understanding and

Diagnosing Charge 133

Tips for How to Process Charge 140

Moving into Charge Choices 141

Homework Follow-Up 142

Higher Self-Talk 123

Chapter 10: Lesson 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

Acute vs. Chronic Trauma 147

Putting Words to Feelings 154

The Four Rs 157

Le sson 4 Homework: Completing the

Puzzle of You 159

Homework Follow-Up 170

Higher Self-Talk 171

PART III

Chapter 11: Recap . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

Chapter 12: Lesson 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

Who Is Taking Up the Most Room? 179

Gone but Not Forgotten 182

Complete or Repeat 183

Le sson 5 Homework: Taking Responsibility

and Letting Go 184

Homework Follow-Up 195

Higher Self-Talk 196

Chapter 13: Lesson 6 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197

Recharge to Discharge 200

Saying Goodbye 202

Lesson 6 Homework: Release Through Writing 203

Homework Follow-Up 207

Higher Self-Talk 209

Chapter 14: Lesson 7 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 210

The Happier Ending 212

Lesson 7 Homework: Your Happier Ending 215

Homework Follow-Up 221

Higher Self-Talk 223

Chapter 15: Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225

APPENDIX 1: Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale . . . . . . . 229

APPENDIX 2: Stress Indicators Continued . . . . . . . . . 234

AP PENDIX 3: Identifying Your Heartbreak

Category and Type . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236

APPENDIX 4: Terms Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238

Endnotes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 243

Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 246

About the Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 253