"If I don't get laid before my next birthday, I'm burying myself alive in the desert."

Alana Darling has a good life. A great one, some might say. At just twenty-seven she owns the most popular bakery in her small mountain town, has a mostly positive relationship with her family, and a roster of friends that she can count on to hide a body if the need arises. Her biggest problem? She's still...a total virgin. Because, as luck would have it, even in a world inhabited by witches and vampires and minotaur-no amount of magic can seem to save her sex life.

Between the strings of disappointing dates, her grandmother's ever-present lectures, and her birthday less than a month away, Alana is left feeling fed up and over waiting for her "Mr. Right". So when another particularly unsatisfying night of self care leads to an ad for services offering a sexy thrill of a paranormal kind (werewolves, and sirens, and shifters, oh my) Alana takes it as a sign to take charge of her own wants. It's Satisfaction Guaranteed, or her money back.

But what happens when the anonymity she was hoping for isn't quite what fate had in mind?

Enter Cyrus Castillo, a southern heartthrob with a secret side gig as one of the area's most sought after monster "escorts". He's made a total career of keeping things casual and his attachments at a distance. But when the cute, curvy baker he visits damn near every day unexpectedly shows up on his client list? Well, now everything he knows about control may go up in smoke.

Reasons you'll love this Cozy, magical, New Mexico Mountain town
Plus size main characters
Human baker X Werewolf sex worker
Black X POC love interests
Lesbian vampire best friends
Found family
Himbo Gym Bro Minataurs
Mutual Pining
Seemingly suave MMC who doesn't know how to handle genuine love and affection and gets very flustered when subjected to it.