Preface
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Emotional Neglect Questionnaire

Part I: Running on Empty
Chapter 1: Why Wasn’t the Tank Filled?
The Ordinary Healthy Parent in Action
Chapter 2: Twelve Ways to End Up Empty
Type 1: The Narcissistic Parent
Type 2: The Authoritarian Parent
Type 3: The Permissive Parent
Type 4: The Bereaved Parent: Divorced or Widowed
Type 5: The Addicted Parent
Type 6: The Depressed Parent
Type 7: The Workaholic Parent
Type 8: The Parent with a Special Needs Family Member
Type 9: The Achievement/Perfection Focused Parent
Type 10:The Sociopathic Parent
Type 11:Child as Parent
Type 12:The Well-Meaning-but-Neglected-Themselves Parent

Part II: Out of Fuel
Chapter 3: The Neglected Child, All Grown Up
1. Feelings of Emptiness
2. Counter-Dependence
3. Unrealistic Self-Appraisal
4. No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others
5. Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me?
6. Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame
7. The Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won’t Like Me)
8. Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others
9. Poor Self-Discipline
10. Alexithymia
Chapter 4: Cognitive Secrets: The Special Problem of Suicidal Feelings

Part III: Filling the Tank
Chapter 5: How Change Happens
Factors That Get in the Way of Successful Change
Chapter 6: Why Feelings Matter and What to Do with Them
1. Understanding the Purpose and Value of Your Emotions
2. Identifying and Naming Your Feelings
3. Learning to Self-Monitor Your Feelings
4. Accepting and Trusting Your Own Feelings
5. Learning to Express Your Feelings Effectively
6. Recognizing, Understanding and Valuing Emotions in Relationships
Chapter 7: Self-Care
Self-Care Part 1. Learning to Nurture Yourself
Self-Care Part 2. Improving Self-Discipline
Self-Care Part 3. Self-Soothing
Self-Care Part 4. Having Compassion for Yourself
Chapter 8: Ending the Cycle: Giving Your Child What You Never Got
1. Your Parental Guilt
2. The Changes You Have Made So Far
3. Identify Your Own Specific Parenting Challenges
Chapter 9: For the Therapist
Research
Identification of Emotional Neglect
Treatment
Summary for the Therapist
Conclusion

Resources for Recovery

References