Acknowledgments

1. An Introduction
"There are so many positive things about my identity."
Asking an Important Question
Multiple Identities and Labels
Minority Stress, Coping, and Resilience
Social Context of Minority Stress
A Meaningful Life
Overview of the Book

2. Authenticity
"I can be myself and be more authentic with others."
Discovering Our Authentic Self
Living an Authentic Life
Our Authentic Style
Congruent Identity
A Caution
My Inheritance: 34-Year-Old Gay Man from Indiana
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

3. Self-Awareness, Personal Insight, and Growth
"Deepening my insight into myself has led to positive
developments in my life."
Self-Awareness
Personal Insight
Personal Growth
Questioning Assumptions (and Authority)
Spiritual Growth
What Is Right for Me? 35-year-old "Transsexual Transman" from England
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

4. Freedom to Create New Rules
"I live beyond the binaries."
Breaking the Rules and Creating New Ones
Queering the Rules
New Relationship Scripts
The Positive "No Label"
An Open Identity: 25-Year-Old "Queer Bisexual" from New Jersey
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

5. Stronger Emotional Connections with Others
"Sharing my true self brings me closer to the people I love."
Sharing Brings Us Closer
Connecting with Others
Family of Origin
Positive Relationships with Our Kids
Chosen Family
Familiarity with My Partner
Investing in Relationships: 49-year-old "Transsexual" from California, Married for 16 Years
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

6. Freedom to Explore Relationships and Sexuality
"I can love who I want and create a satisfying relationship."
New Relationship Rules
A New Family Style
Equal Partners
Exploring Sexual Expression
Same-Sex (Same-Gender) Sexual Understanding
Attraction to the Person
Opportunity to Explore: 45-year-old Bisexual from Pennsylvania
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

7. Compassion and Empathy
"If I had turned out straight, I doubt I would be the compassionate person I am today."
Shared Experiences with Prejudice
Gay Men Understanding Their Privilege
A Unique Perspective
Open to the Experiences of Others
My Eyes Opened: 60-Year-Old White, Southern, Gay Man from Virginia
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

8. Mentors, Role Models, and Activists
"I want to go beyond myself and make a difference."
Mentoring and Being a Role Model
The Model Couple (Modeling Relationships)
Activists for LGBTQ Rights
Social Justice for All
A Mentor and a Role Model: 55-Year-Old Lesbian from Arizona
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

9. Belonging to an LGBTQ Community
"It's a great community to be a part of."
Support and Social Networks
Five Different Communities to Choose From
Finding Strength in a Diverse Community
One Big Family: 50-year-old "Lesbian, Queer, Dyke" Living in Illinois
Exercises and Activities for Reflection and Practice

10. A Positive View
"This is a very positive part of who I am."
A Queer Sense of Humor
A Sense of Optimism
Many Cultures and Multiple Identities
Final Thoughts

Notes
Suggested Resources
References
Index
About the Authors