This memoir started as my personal journal full of desperation to make sense of what I was going through. I began writing as depression and OCD/anxiety made home of my mind. In my attempts to cope, I also developed anorexia, alcoholism, and trauma from sexual assaults. For about ten years, I lost myself to these struggles. A couple of relapses and time spent in treatment began the difficult road to recovery.

As I started to understand the complex web of mental illness inside me, I gained the words I was searching for to build a much-needed bridge. Mental illness can touch anyone, even the most untouchable, seemingly normal lives. Although we don't all experience mental illness in the exact same ways, unfortunately, it's often still a familiar darkness that's misunderstood by the rest of the world. I expanded my writing into a book that could build the bridge of understanding, conversations, support, and hope from loved ones to those struggling.

This is the full tour inside my mind as I experienced the darkest times of my life. It's not a glorified drama of my struggles. It's the raw, most honest, and unfiltered version of those years, my time in treatment, and a realistically messy recovery. I hope to be a voice for many, a reference for loved ones, and a glimpse of the light for everybody involved. It does get better, and it's worth the fight.

*Trigger warnings are included at the beginning of each difficult topic.*