Dave Barry, Adam Mansbach, and Alan Zweibel

Forewords
Introduction
Preface
Prologue
A Note from the Authors

A JEWISH LIFEThe Name of G-d
What Are the Different Types of Jews?
Jewish Names
The Bris
Discussion Questions for the Bris
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Discussion Questions for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
SIDEBAR: Frequently Asked Questions About Why Are Yarmulkes Round?
The Jewish Wedding
Judaism and Interfaith Marriage
Judaism and Sexuality
SIDEBAR: Sodom and Gomorrah
Jewish Divorce
Converting to Judaism
The Jewish Home
Keeping Kosher
SIDEBAR: Seltzer
Tzedakah
Death
SIDEBAR: The Evil Eye
The Afterlife

THE JEWISH YEARThe Jewish CalendaR
Shabbat
Discussion Questions for Shabbat
Rosh Hashanah
Rosh Hashithead
Yom Kippur
SIDEBAR: The Miracle of Jonah
Sukkot
Chanukkah
Discussion Questions for Chanukkah
Tu B'Shvat
Purim
Passover
How to Make Perfect Matzah Balls Every Time
Next Year in Jerusalem
SIDEBAR: Ten Remarkable Similarities Between Moses and Elvis
SIDEBAR: The Book of Joshua
Shavuot
Tisha B'Av
Simchat Torah

JEWISH HISTORY
The Creation Story
The Origins of Judaism
Discussion Questions for The Origins of Judaism
SIDEBAR: The First Jewish Comedian
SIDEBAR: The Story of Isaac
The Kings of Israel: The First Temple
The Second Temple
The Third Temple
SIDEBAR: The Talmud
The First Millenium
SIDEBAR: The Kabbalah
SIDEBAR: The Golem
Israel
SIDEBAR: Bargaining in Israel
The History of Bagels
Modern Jewish History
SIDEBAR: Oy
SIDEBAR: Feh
SIDEBAR: Frequently Asked Questions About the Word "Tumult"
The Holocaust
Last Thursday

QUIZZES, QUESTIONS & ANSWERS, LISTS, AND OTHER ATTEMPTS TO MEET OUR CONTRACTUALLY-OBLIGATED WORD COUNTAre You an Anti-Semite?
Common Questions About Judaism
Ten People We Wish Were or Were Not Jewish, Ten People You Didn't Know Were or Were Not Jewish, and Ten People We are Thrilled Aren't Jewish
A Conversation with the Authors

Acknowledgments
A Note on the Type